I’ll go! I’ll go! I’ll go!
Dear Erin,
Remember that classic scene in Ferris Bueller, when Cameron is sitting behind the wheel of the car trying to decide whether or not to join Ferris on his “Day Off”? Accompanying Ferris went against every natural tendency within Cameron, and he sits in the driver’s seat of his car, parked in his driveway, pounding the steering wheel, while admonishing himself. “I’ll go! “I’ll go! I’ll go!”
Of course, he goes and has the time of his life.
Well, that just happened to me.
On top of it, I feel like such a poser. One of the six pillars of the nonprofit management system I have developed is community. Specifically, I know for sure that to truly thrive you as an organizational leader, for the health of the organization as well as your own personal development, need to get out into the community. Join things, be a member, attend a conference, go to the networking event, stay apprised of the advocacy work, help someone out. It’s super important.
Yeah, it all makes sense until the introvert needs to actually GO TO SOMETHING. Like somewhere where there are real people one might have to encounter.
Last Wednesday, my calendar was cleared to make way for a full day conference for folks in the nonprofit sector. It was held in Chicago, walking distance from my apartment. The weather was beautiful. I had paid in advance - some would call it a hefty fee. I was intellectually interested in the program. And yet. It took every ounce of strength to force myself to go.
The day before, a last minute emergency conference call with a funder was scheduled for the conference day. It would mean stepping out of the plenary session for 20 minutes to take the call. I grasped it like a lifesaver - no way can I go to the conference now if I am going to miss 20 minutes. Nevermind that the conference is 7 hours long. I was desperate for a way out.
“I’ll go! “I’ll go! “I’ll go!”
Despite sitting paralyzed for 60 minutes the morning of the conference, I mustered all the strength I had and pulled myself together. I timed my walk so that I would arrive 52 minutes into the registration hour, ensuring only 8 minutes to survive the free-form coffee and networking prior to the opening session. That is exactly the amount of time needed to grab my lanyard, go to the bathroom, pour some coffee, take one lap around the lobby, feign interest in the membership booth, and then find a seat at a semi-filled table with non-threatening people. My cheerful “is anyone sitting here?” masked sheer terror. I had Crossed the Rubicon.
So here’s what happened. The opening speaker was AH-MAYZING. So inspirational. I was sure to buy a copy of his book at the break. I sat next to a funder I had never met before, who showed interest in our program. I missed nothing when I snuck out to take the emergency call. I learned about some new state laws critical to what we do. I absorbed the latest buzzwords that people are using to describe programs and impact. I went to a breakout session and was introduced to some legal structure that might apply to your sector (I mentioned them on the phone; still researching…). I heard some interesting tidbits that I was able to share in conversation the very next day. I grabbed a selfie to prove I was there and consumed as much high end coffee as I could drink. At the end of the day, I walked home excited, inspired and SO HAPPY that I went. I even saw a few people I knew and caught up with them.
I knew I would like it if I went, even when every cell in my body was rebelling against going. The introvert’s curse, I guess.
Six pillars: Admin, Marketing, Finance, Programs, Development and Community. I never said I was personally good at all of them. Or even most of them. I suppose that’s why I track all six - to ensure that I don’t gravitate entirely towards the ones I like to do and away from the ones that leave me in a cold sweat.
Community is important. It’s easy to say you are too busy doing the tactical. But, it is a critical reminder that you have lots to learn from your peers and you are part of something bigger than yourself. If you have an opportunity, GO!
Love, Mom
